Yes, we are moving...just right down the road. It's not much of a big deal...except for the fact that we have moved every two years for the past six years...
This means two things. 1.) I qualify as a professional mover (NOT for hire). 2.) You may find two dirty sad children with their address and my phone number written on their arm with a permanent marker sitting on a street corner.
The reason for number two is this....I'm going to be cleaning full time. We aren't moving for a few weeks but June is pretty busy for us and I wanted a head start. And with my kids, well.....
I pride myself on already keeping a clean house but there are those things that you don't do regularly. So all morning I was going about the house armed with a toothbrush and a Magic Eraser (the only thing that would make them perfect would be if they were antibacterial). I got every nook and cranny, like the edges of the trim work and the corners mops don't get. And I mopped and it only took me an hour to half way clean the stove. But.....yes, there's always a but in my house. The one day this week I mop somebody decides to murder a cup of juice in the kitchen. The cabinets had just wiped down and the counters, and the floor were covered in splatters of sticky juice. And I wasn't told about this....I found it by slipping and nearly falling. Cool. And while I was scrubbing down the bathroom, with a toothbrush ( the person who buys this house is one Lucky Son of a Gun...this house is sparkling) my bed was being used as a bounce house, the same bed I artfully made this morning. Oh, and the dog has been vomiting on my carpet. And as I am worried about him....sigh, my carpet....
I feel like Goldie Hawn in Overboard (if you haven't seen it..it's wonderful).
All this being said the kids have gotten along AMAZINGLY today. I don't know why. I think it's the calm before the storm. But I'll take it.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
How can you tell your child is going through the "Terrible Twos" you ask....
Well. Let me tell you.
If you find Play Doh smashed into your carpet, and they are hanging on your leg crying......you definitely have a two year old.
If a clothes hanger is being used as a weapon in your home....you might have a two year old.
Or if the vacuum accessories are also being used as weapons......you just plain have kids.
If you hear the same word repeated over and over again, for example; tractor, tractor, tractor, tractor, tractor.....you might have a two year old.
(And I can say "I see it" or "Ya", I can say ANYTHING, but only when I say "tractor" back to him will he stop.) I'm just going to spend a moment on this subject because it happens every hour and its really fun when you are trying to navigate around town or on the phone.....
That was my MORNING.....how was yours?
Well. Let me tell you.
If you wake up to an open can of Mushroom Soup in your face.....you might have a two year old.
And after that, you find your fridge has been raided by racoons......nope, you just might have a two year old.
If instead of speaking the child just hangs on your leg FOR 5 MINUTES, crying over a Sports Illustrated magazine (that he never wanted until his sister was looking at it)......you might have a two year old.
If he just hangs on you leg crying...for no reason....you might have a 2 year old.
If you find Play Doh smashed into your carpet, and they are hanging on your leg crying......you definitely have a two year old.
If a clothes hanger is being used as a weapon in your home....you might have a two year old.
Or if the vacuum accessories are also being used as weapons......you just plain have kids.
If you hear the same word repeated over and over again, for example; tractor, tractor, tractor, tractor, tractor.....you might have a two year old.
(And I can say "I see it" or "Ya", I can say ANYTHING, but only when I say "tractor" back to him will he stop.) I'm just going to spend a moment on this subject because it happens every hour and its really fun when you are trying to navigate around town or on the phone.....
That was my MORNING.....how was yours?
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Update
I don't know what I did right in the world, but the remote and the Aqua Doodle Pen (that had been also missing for several months) AND my phone cover have all been recovered.
So I live in a college town. I enjoyed it much more when I was younger, now not as much. It makes me feel worse about looking so bad when I go to the grocery store. So, for mothers day Dan got me a tanning package. So while my friend is in Mexico (so rude, btw Kari) I am going to fake tan it. But I hate sitting in the waiting area next to all these college girls. I'm self conscience, and what do you talk about? I always hope the conversation never comes my way......"So what are you studying?" "Oh, I'm taking a class on how to keep my son from strait up eating sand.."
Yep, he lays in the sand box, like hes just soaking up me rays, and he'll look at me through the corner of his eye and roll over, and stick his tongue right into the sand. At first, I thought it as an accident... but you don't accidentally put your open mouth in the sand five time in a row. And as much as I try to get it out, I'll hear him chomping away on sand. He's definitely proving to be quite the comedian. He also has a new thing when I'm lunging (running my horse in circle in the pen) he will decide to slide a stick through the rails right in front of the horse...that one isn't so funny. I've always managed to pull her out of the way or yell at him, she's never hit it, yet. Her stops are looking pretty great now though. And she'll just pick right back up like shes expecting it, it's like no big deal. But I now believe some horses weren't born to be a kids horse, they where forced into it. At least he does it all with a huge smile on his face.
Yep, she said it.
My parenting strategy is Trial and Error. I have great days and I have "Princess Days".
So I live in a college town. I enjoyed it much more when I was younger, now not as much. It makes me feel worse about looking so bad when I go to the grocery store. So, for mothers day Dan got me a tanning package. So while my friend is in Mexico (so rude, btw Kari) I am going to fake tan it. But I hate sitting in the waiting area next to all these college girls. I'm self conscience, and what do you talk about? I always hope the conversation never comes my way......"So what are you studying?" "Oh, I'm taking a class on how to keep my son from strait up eating sand.."
Yep, he lays in the sand box, like hes just soaking up me rays, and he'll look at me through the corner of his eye and roll over, and stick his tongue right into the sand. At first, I thought it as an accident... but you don't accidentally put your open mouth in the sand five time in a row. And as much as I try to get it out, I'll hear him chomping away on sand. He's definitely proving to be quite the comedian. He also has a new thing when I'm lunging (running my horse in circle in the pen) he will decide to slide a stick through the rails right in front of the horse...that one isn't so funny. I've always managed to pull her out of the way or yell at him, she's never hit it, yet. Her stops are looking pretty great now though. And she'll just pick right back up like shes expecting it, it's like no big deal. But I now believe some horses weren't born to be a kids horse, they where forced into it. At least he does it all with a huge smile on his face.
Taylor was never that dangerous or difficult. She was saving the difficult up.......for NOW.
I've be going by the whole 'pick your battles' concept. Which means Taylor has been going to school looking like a mini Courtney Love without the drugs and the smeared mascara, and Taylor is well covered up. But you get my point. Yesterday she wore and very fancy Easter dress over some kind of long sleeve T, jeans and her dirty cowboy boots. But I did pick a battle the other day.....
Yep, she said it.
My parenting strategy is Trial and Error. I have great days and I have "Princess Days".
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Things I Have Learned Along The Road
You need to update your computers apparently every three years....I did not believe this until mine stopped working properly.
Sometimes after a year remotes can be found in place you have checked a million times. Yep, we found it in the bottom of the couch. Nope, cell phone cover is still missing.
It is rare I get to drink a whole cup of coffee warm.
Coffee no longer good after it has been heated up four times in the microwave.
Sometimes your son may want to wear a monkey tail to school. And yes, I let him.
You should NEVER give any inclination that you want to get anything done around your kids..they will pick up on that, and make it so it never happens.
I now look at cleaning as therapy. If I can even get that done..
Some say sleep is overrated...I will prove them wrong.
When one child is crying, it most necessary for the other child to break out in loud song or shout. I don't know why, but this happens EVERY TIME.
Sometimes I can't answer my phone because my son is yelling "Chip" at me...over and over again.
If you tell a girl, who is in KINDERGARTEN, that her fashion sense differs from yours, there will be huge argument.....which leads to being late to school.
Boys like to hit.
Girls like to argue
Boys like to bite.
Girls like to argue.
Boys like to yell and be dangerous.
Girls like to fight....and argue.
Don't try to paint while you have children in he house...I don't know what I was thinking.
A DVD may turn into chew toy.....for a child......
You can look to shabby for the gym.......resulting in me throwing away some clothing.
At least my kids get bathed everyday....someday they will realize how lucky the are.....when they are parents.
Sometimes after a year remotes can be found in place you have checked a million times. Yep, we found it in the bottom of the couch. Nope, cell phone cover is still missing.
It is rare I get to drink a whole cup of coffee warm.
Coffee no longer good after it has been heated up four times in the microwave.
Sometimes your son may want to wear a monkey tail to school. And yes, I let him.
You should NEVER give any inclination that you want to get anything done around your kids..they will pick up on that, and make it so it never happens.
I now look at cleaning as therapy. If I can even get that done..
Some say sleep is overrated...I will prove them wrong.
When one child is crying, it most necessary for the other child to break out in loud song or shout. I don't know why, but this happens EVERY TIME.
Sometimes I can't answer my phone because my son is yelling "Chip" at me...over and over again.
If you tell a girl, who is in KINDERGARTEN, that her fashion sense differs from yours, there will be huge argument.....which leads to being late to school.
Boys like to hit.
Girls like to argue
Boys like to bite.
Girls like to argue.
Boys like to yell and be dangerous.
Girls like to fight....and argue.
Don't try to paint while you have children in he house...I don't know what I was thinking.
A DVD may turn into chew toy.....for a child......
You can look to shabby for the gym.......resulting in me throwing away some clothing.
At least my kids get bathed everyday....someday they will realize how lucky the are.....when they are parents.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Rainy Days.....and Date Night?
I would just like to say I was posting to vent..but oddly enough my children have been behaving in such a way that I don't have much to write about this week. Hmm.....
I hate the rain. We are outdoor people and the bad weather is interfering way too much. I have never watched so many Disney movies and colored so many pictures in my life. And the hand to hand combat between the kids has picked up a bit, they are now both fitted with full body armour because I'm trying to just let them fight it out...bike helmets, life jackets, and knee pads. Today were are going to make pirate hats and a fort today. Wow. It's so sad I'm actually excited for it. What is it like to be an adult again?
So recently I dog sat for my brother and sister-in-law. I like their dog, so it was no trouble at all. But she decided to pay me with gift certificates to a restaurant and the movies. My husband was standing there when I opened the card, and when he caught a glimpse, he proclaimed, "Date Night!"
I had no clue what he was talking about.
I tried to conjure up something in my memory Rolodex. It sounded familiar but.....
"You mean those things we used to go on before we had two kids? By ourselves?" I was starting to remember. "No, don't be silly. We will just all go to a matinee showing of How To Train Your Dragon and then go to dinner. He raised his eyebrows. "Uh, no. We are having a date night."
This was almost two weeks ago..........
I hate the rain. We are outdoor people and the bad weather is interfering way too much. I have never watched so many Disney movies and colored so many pictures in my life. And the hand to hand combat between the kids has picked up a bit, they are now both fitted with full body armour because I'm trying to just let them fight it out...bike helmets, life jackets, and knee pads. Today were are going to make pirate hats and a fort today. Wow. It's so sad I'm actually excited for it. What is it like to be an adult again?
So recently I dog sat for my brother and sister-in-law. I like their dog, so it was no trouble at all. But she decided to pay me with gift certificates to a restaurant and the movies. My husband was standing there when I opened the card, and when he caught a glimpse, he proclaimed, "Date Night!"
I had no clue what he was talking about.
I tried to conjure up something in my memory Rolodex. It sounded familiar but.....
"You mean those things we used to go on before we had two kids? By ourselves?" I was starting to remember. "No, don't be silly. We will just all go to a matinee showing of How To Train Your Dragon and then go to dinner. He raised his eyebrows. "Uh, no. We are having a date night."
This was almost two weeks ago..........
Monday, April 26, 2010
The Lost and the STILL Missing
This morning I awoke to the smell of cinnamon rolls and bacon. I slid out of bed and made my way to the living room where I found both of the kids deep in thought with a chess match. My house was sparkling and as I passed the mirror, I noticed I was fully dressed an made up, hair and all. Then my refection said to me, " Hey Idiot. Your migraine is making you hallucinate. Snap out of it!"
Sigh..
The reality was my "good morning" came in the form of a pounding headache, which, I think, would qualify as a 6.5 on the Richter Scale. Even now at 10PM, I still wince and make that face, like you just smelled sour milk, EVERY TIME I move. So along with my actual headache, I have that everyday one from not being able to locate certain household items......
MISSING
Surround Sound Remote Last seen: Early 2009
And more recently...
New gel phone cover Last seen: oh, I don't know, a week and a half ago?
Suspects:
A mischievous 2 yr old and a 16 (I mean 6 yr old who thinks she's 16. When asked about the missing items and if she had anything to do with it she replied " UMMM, NOAH" I have on numerous occasions tried to explain to her the word is pronounced simply "no". With no avail and unless she is making a Barbie bomb, I'm pretty sure she's clear. )
I have checked the usual hiding places where missing things often turn up. The widow sill at the front of the house, the pirate tent, the closet. And EVERYWHERE ELSE!! The inside of shoes, my garage, three toy boxes, the yard, book shelves, and the couches. And I sill can't find either! I have given up on the remote as of late last year. I'm 90% sure it's buried in the sand box. But my phone cover is new...and I just want it back.
Also, I have myself lost my memory since being a mother. " I can't find my shoes!" Oh yes, they are by the door where I put them 5 seconds ago "I can't find my keys" Oh yes, they are on the table, again, where I put them 5 seconds ago. I wish I had a beeper on my keys...but I would loose that too. The losing of the keys happens multiple times n a daily basis. And the worst situation has been....." Where's Bent....."and before I got the last syllable out of my mouth, my own child's name.....I realize I'm holding him. Unfortunately, this incident took place in front of others. Thankfully it was one of my best friends and her family, anyone else would have thought me crazy, and un-thankfully because they still won't let me live it down. It's even a greeting as I come in the door with the kids, "Hey where's Bentley?" Haha.
So along with the items I would like to find; cell phone service in my own home and the reason why only half of the keys on my keyboard work the first time.
Sigh..
The reality was my "good morning" came in the form of a pounding headache, which, I think, would qualify as a 6.5 on the Richter Scale. Even now at 10PM, I still wince and make that face, like you just smelled sour milk, EVERY TIME I move. So along with my actual headache, I have that everyday one from not being able to locate certain household items......
MISSING
Surround Sound Remote Last seen: Early 2009
And more recently...
New gel phone cover Last seen: oh, I don't know, a week and a half ago?
Suspects:
A mischievous 2 yr old and a 16 (I mean 6 yr old who thinks she's 16. When asked about the missing items and if she had anything to do with it she replied " UMMM, NOAH" I have on numerous occasions tried to explain to her the word is pronounced simply "no". With no avail and unless she is making a Barbie bomb, I'm pretty sure she's clear. )
I have checked the usual hiding places where missing things often turn up. The widow sill at the front of the house, the pirate tent, the closet. And EVERYWHERE ELSE!! The inside of shoes, my garage, three toy boxes, the yard, book shelves, and the couches. And I sill can't find either! I have given up on the remote as of late last year. I'm 90% sure it's buried in the sand box. But my phone cover is new...and I just want it back.
Also, I have myself lost my memory since being a mother. " I can't find my shoes!" Oh yes, they are by the door where I put them 5 seconds ago "I can't find my keys" Oh yes, they are on the table, again, where I put them 5 seconds ago. I wish I had a beeper on my keys...but I would loose that too. The losing of the keys happens multiple times n a daily basis. And the worst situation has been....." Where's Bent....."and before I got the last syllable out of my mouth, my own child's name.....I realize I'm holding him. Unfortunately, this incident took place in front of others. Thankfully it was one of my best friends and her family, anyone else would have thought me crazy, and un-thankfully because they still won't let me live it down. It's even a greeting as I come in the door with the kids, "Hey where's Bentley?" Haha.
So along with the items I would like to find; cell phone service in my own home and the reason why only half of the keys on my keyboard work the first time.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
The Library
This morning I woke up to the smell of urine. So before I got a cup of coffee in I had to start a load of bedsheets in the wash. Not mine, just to clarify.
I would also like to clarify that I love my children very much and have decided to keep them around for at least the next 18 years. And the point of this blog is to be able to go back and hold all of this against my kids as blackmail and/or to show their future prom dates. It is also intended to serve as therapy for me and entertainment for you. But again, most days are great and even the bad days have their shining moments.
For example, today we went to what we call the"kid read" at the library. And I'll just let your imagination run with that thought.
Because that is what my son does when he walks out of story time....he runs. He runs like there is no tomorrow. He does it with a smile on is face as if telling himself, " If this is gonna be the last time I get to do this, I'm gonna make it good!" I used to think the child Monkey backpack with the leash was maybe the most inhumane thing a parent could do. Now my mouth almost waters when I pass by them in the store. Taylor even offered to get me on last Christmas. Yes, my 6 yr. old daughter thought I should have one. No, I don't have one yet. I'm still trying to do without. After we get to the library I find, I'm kicking myself for not at least trying to jimmy-rig a harness out of my husband's tube socks and finishing it off with the dog leash or the horse's lead rope. (I just had a thought, I could use a horse halter for the harness!) But, my attempts at civilizing my son are working. Today he did not run (I carried him half the time) but he had slowed to a fast walk. He didn't try to climb the stairs, for usually he insists there is some kind of vacuum up there, I don't know why. And when I told him it was time to go he looked at me an said "OK".
Yet, I was sweating like it was a hot day in September, as I usually do anytime I go out in public, just from the stress of "what if". The library experiences are well worth it, because rather than just sitting back and watching all of the other kids dancing and singing the songs in story time, he is now participating. And now I can sit back and watch he and his sister getting along as she teaches him the little moves and gestures.
And now I have to cut this short, for there is a sand throwing war happening in my back yard.......
I would also like to clarify that I love my children very much and have decided to keep them around for at least the next 18 years. And the point of this blog is to be able to go back and hold all of this against my kids as blackmail and/or to show their future prom dates. It is also intended to serve as therapy for me and entertainment for you. But again, most days are great and even the bad days have their shining moments.
For example, today we went to what we call the"kid read" at the library. And I'll just let your imagination run with that thought.
Because that is what my son does when he walks out of story time....he runs. He runs like there is no tomorrow. He does it with a smile on is face as if telling himself, " If this is gonna be the last time I get to do this, I'm gonna make it good!" I used to think the child Monkey backpack with the leash was maybe the most inhumane thing a parent could do. Now my mouth almost waters when I pass by them in the store. Taylor even offered to get me on last Christmas. Yes, my 6 yr. old daughter thought I should have one. No, I don't have one yet. I'm still trying to do without. After we get to the library I find, I'm kicking myself for not at least trying to jimmy-rig a harness out of my husband's tube socks and finishing it off with the dog leash or the horse's lead rope. (I just had a thought, I could use a horse halter for the harness!) But, my attempts at civilizing my son are working. Today he did not run (I carried him half the time) but he had slowed to a fast walk. He didn't try to climb the stairs, for usually he insists there is some kind of vacuum up there, I don't know why. And when I told him it was time to go he looked at me an said "OK".
Yet, I was sweating like it was a hot day in September, as I usually do anytime I go out in public, just from the stress of "what if". The library experiences are well worth it, because rather than just sitting back and watching all of the other kids dancing and singing the songs in story time, he is now participating. And now I can sit back and watch he and his sister getting along as she teaches him the little moves and gestures.
And now I have to cut this short, for there is a sand throwing war happening in my back yard.......
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
My so UnGlamorous Life
So this morning we added three plastic bowling pins and a Nerf gun to the top of the fridge.
Many times have considered strapping on my child's bike helmet in fear of being hit by falling debris. The Nerf gun was not taken away for shooting, but it was being used to hit with. Poor Taylor. It's so sad to watch every morning, her picking a toy to play with and not realizing she is choosing the weapon she is to be hit with 15 minutes later. Its like when parents used to send out kids to pick the switch they would be spanked with. I have told her of this and encourage her to play with more stuffed animals but there's not much more I can do about fate...and her little brother. I just continue to protect her to the best of my abilities. It was a good morning in the fact that we were on time to take Taylor to school. But, I quickly lost my enthusiasm when I cheered in the car, "Yay, we're on time, everybody clap!" And I was the only one participating......
So, have you ever had that one piece of clothing that you just can't live without? The one that makes you feel like a million bucks. You just never want to take it off? I do. It' my Pink Robe. At ANY given time, day, week, or season you can knock on my door and will greet you in my Pink Robe and my husbands red and black plaid pajama pants. Its stunning, I know. And you're welcome. I don't know what it is..maybe it's the fact that it's like wearing a hug around all day. Or maybe I clean all day and don't want to risk injuring my real clothes. Though I find myself not wearing them as often. I find that I have fallen into the routine of getting dressed to run errands around town and coming home, walking in the door, and changing back into the same robe and sweat pants. I draw the line at wearing this ensemble outside unless completely necessary, so as not to be known as the shabby Mom on the street and to avoid pity stares from the neighbors. Now, it's not an ugly piece of clothing, its cute. Fluffy and hot pink with an insignia on the back with the word PINK an some swirls. Really, I don't know why my agent hasn't submitted me to a Victoria's Secret shoot besides the fact that I'm lacking any attributes that would qualify me as a VS model. But truly I think the least I would come way with is a Spokesperson spot for them. I mean I can totally vouch for their product, I've been wearing this thing for three years strait. My friends know it as my staple and may not recognize me without it. So therefore I am afraid to give it up. I'm sure I could do it, but it would be like losing your childhood blankie.
I really am thinking of hanging the thing up for good. It has definitely served it's purpose. We had a good run but think I owe it to myself to dress like normal citizen. (I love fashion but you would never know it). And I believe I owe it my husband. Who wants to come home to that every day? It's rough enough that when steps in the door it's like a slap in the face. The picture of me still cooking dinner the kids chasing each other and me with a very loud voice telling them "BE QUIET! STOP RUNNING! STOP SHOUTING! Daddy's home!", is probably not ideal. So I'll think about that one tonight. Maybe I'll get a little crazy and change it up and throw a sweatshirt on?
And as a side note. If you would get glimpse of my life or the closest thing to it. ABC was kind enough to produce a "mockumentary" that's on this evening, called "Modern Family". Check it out. And I'm not referring myself the character Gloria, but more Claire and Dan (my husband) is definitely Phil.
Many times have considered strapping on my child's bike helmet in fear of being hit by falling debris. The Nerf gun was not taken away for shooting, but it was being used to hit with. Poor Taylor. It's so sad to watch every morning, her picking a toy to play with and not realizing she is choosing the weapon she is to be hit with 15 minutes later. Its like when parents used to send out kids to pick the switch they would be spanked with. I have told her of this and encourage her to play with more stuffed animals but there's not much more I can do about fate...and her little brother. I just continue to protect her to the best of my abilities. It was a good morning in the fact that we were on time to take Taylor to school. But, I quickly lost my enthusiasm when I cheered in the car, "Yay, we're on time, everybody clap!" And I was the only one participating......
So, have you ever had that one piece of clothing that you just can't live without? The one that makes you feel like a million bucks. You just never want to take it off? I do. It' my Pink Robe. At ANY given time, day, week, or season you can knock on my door and will greet you in my Pink Robe and my husbands red and black plaid pajama pants. Its stunning, I know. And you're welcome. I don't know what it is..maybe it's the fact that it's like wearing a hug around all day. Or maybe I clean all day and don't want to risk injuring my real clothes. Though I find myself not wearing them as often. I find that I have fallen into the routine of getting dressed to run errands around town and coming home, walking in the door, and changing back into the same robe and sweat pants. I draw the line at wearing this ensemble outside unless completely necessary, so as not to be known as the shabby Mom on the street and to avoid pity stares from the neighbors. Now, it's not an ugly piece of clothing, its cute. Fluffy and hot pink with an insignia on the back with the word PINK an some swirls. Really, I don't know why my agent hasn't submitted me to a Victoria's Secret shoot besides the fact that I'm lacking any attributes that would qualify me as a VS model. But truly I think the least I would come way with is a Spokesperson spot for them. I mean I can totally vouch for their product, I've been wearing this thing for three years strait. My friends know it as my staple and may not recognize me without it. So therefore I am afraid to give it up. I'm sure I could do it, but it would be like losing your childhood blankie.
I really am thinking of hanging the thing up for good. It has definitely served it's purpose. We had a good run but think I owe it to myself to dress like normal citizen. (I love fashion but you would never know it). And I believe I owe it my husband. Who wants to come home to that every day? It's rough enough that when steps in the door it's like a slap in the face. The picture of me still cooking dinner the kids chasing each other and me with a very loud voice telling them "BE QUIET! STOP RUNNING! STOP SHOUTING! Daddy's home!", is probably not ideal. So I'll think about that one tonight. Maybe I'll get a little crazy and change it up and throw a sweatshirt on?
And as a side note. If you would get glimpse of my life or the closest thing to it. ABC was kind enough to produce a "mockumentary" that's on this evening, called "Modern Family". Check it out. And I'm not referring myself the character Gloria, but more Claire and Dan (my husband) is definitely Phil.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Day 1
OK, so I hate it when people have new idea every other day for what they are going to do with their life...sadly, lately I've become one of those people. I told three people this morning that I was going to start blogging, so I thought I would change my tune and ACTUALLY do it. I currently have three projects I have yet to finish, my daughters horse should be dead broke by now, my childrens western line is all on paper but yet to be made, and my childrens book is still lacking a literary agent, needed to get into the hands of a publishing house. Secondly, I had cut myself off coffee for about two weeks, and after feeling depressed that whole time, I finally decided to go against my better judgement and pick it back up again. I feel like I can do anything, so I vacuumed and took a shower all in one morning ( I paid for the shower, but we will get to that later) and I now am starting a blog that will last until my two year old decides to stop taking naps, which with my luck will be tomorrow.
So as any good citizen would do that has causes some kind of chaos in the lives of others, I'm going to apologize and thank those people. First and foremost , my own mother, I sorry for being, well, me, growing up and thank you for teaching me karma does exist and for not actually saying that when I call crying about how I think my children hate me. And for telling me they are good kids...even though I know they are...for anyone else but me. But I would rather have it that way. And on that note, I hope you had someone to call like I call you and if you did I apologize to those people as well. And there had to be more than one because you had to deal with three girls.
I would also like to do the same for my two or three friends that still make the attempt to call me still and probably dread it every time they do. I have phone ADD and I cut ppl off, I am aware of this and working on it. This blog is for you, now you can make the choice to hear my problems or not. Now that I have this I don't have to vent on the phone. I don't know what I will talk to you about now, but hey, now you can call me and talk yourself! And now I give an apology to you the ones who read this by choice. If I come across as having ADHD it's because I do (self diagnosed) or if it seems like you are reading the blog of a drunk ( I'm not), I've just spent the past two years talking to no one but a 6 and 2 year old. So I have a lot on my mind and I want to get it all out at once. PS, it might be hard to keep up because I have the grammar skills of a 1st grader, I've already worn out the spell check feature in these few paragraphs...
Being a mom has brought so many new things. good and bad. I've found out a lot about myself. And I want things that I have never wanted before. And to do things that I never thought I would. For instance, I would love to go to school just to take an English class, and I just wish I could read a thesaurus all the way through just to get my self back up to date on all the words that adults are using these days. Right now my vocabulary consists of words like, "no", "don't" "why?", and "really?!", that one gets used A LOT. On the upside of a shortened vocab, I've become a master of charades, like when my son pushes himself down or hits himself I know he's been hit or pushed, so when he pairs it with the word "Tater" I know that my daughter has pushed him down. Then I need to be on my toes because after that hes out for revenge. The top of my fridge looks like a toy box. It's a collection of everything he hits his sister with. The usual bats, toy brooms, kitchen utensils, and then there are the snow boots that he chose to use as boxing gloves. I used to think I wanted to be an actor growing up. Now I've come to the realization that the only gigs I should submit myself for are those on the Disney channel. I don't even know how to ACT like an adult anymore. I took part in two films this summer and the one I think I really excelled in was the one where I was wearing a silver tinsel wig and not talking. The other one, I felt I nailed the audition, but I was given another part, a mature working mom that dealt with and had regular conversations with adults. How could I even relate to that?! I bombed the part, and for this reason the name of this film won't be disclosed. I can only hope that my scenes were cut so the film can be enjoyed by others. So, since I don't see anymore acting in my near future, there is always the thought that I would be an amazing translator. Anyone would be that has a two year old that doesn't like to talk. But when he does....sigh. I am terrified when my husband requests chips. For that would mean I have to go down the chip isle. So I apologize if my child looks up at you with those big brown puppy eyes and he calls you the B word plain as day. He just wants a chip. I'm waiting for the day when we are checking out at the grocery store and he yells "CHIP!" at the check out person......It will happen soon enough and you will hear about it.
Another thing I have realized about myself is that I have broadened my genres in the book department. I used to only read historical fiction and non-fiction and mysteries. Now I cant get enough of anything where I can live vicariously through the characters. Thank you Twilight. And I just cant get enough of the philosophical works of Chelsea Handler, whose titles include Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea. She is a comedic genius who can always put a smile on my face with her stories.
So now I got that all off my chest I can continue on with today's adventures. Now, I've never been known as Smooth Sally, partly because I get to shave my legs maybe once a week, but because my days don't really go as planned. Taylor had stayed the night at Great Grandmas. It was nice not to wake up to screaming. But I knew It was the calm before the storm, so I told myself not even to try and get used to it. And I was right because the blissfulness ended approximately three minutes after she walked in the door. All hell broke loose. ( I say hell I mean screaming and hitting equivalent to WW III) if you talk to me I use that term a lot. But, as I said before, I had picked caffeine back up, so my high veiled some of the screaming. I though maybe if i put T in the shower to separate them things would quiet down again. Well, Taylor went in the bathroom in huff and locked herself in and since apparently ADD is genetic ,I have to be able to keep her in check or else she will be in there for a hour and not have anything accomplished. So anyways, I finally got her out twenty minutes later and since I was feeling good I thought I could take a shower too. Silly, silly me. Cold shower...thank you Taylor. Showers are my one sanctuary.....I came out and Bentley had decided to pour himself a bowl of cereal, and when I say bowl I mean a WHOLE box of cereal in a bowl and on the floor. Today is looking to be a pretty calm day around here.
I'm kind of hoping that a book deal can come out of this because I'm really in the mood to travel and my income from being a stay at home Mom will only pay for me to walk myself down to the park two blocks away..and spa treatments that include a two year old blow drying my hair. But, you know, I still wouldn't have it any other way. And I say that now because they are watching a movie nicely in the other room...
So as any good citizen would do that has causes some kind of chaos in the lives of others, I'm going to apologize and thank those people. First and foremost , my own mother, I sorry for being, well, me, growing up and thank you for teaching me karma does exist and for not actually saying that when I call crying about how I think my children hate me. And for telling me they are good kids...even though I know they are...for anyone else but me. But I would rather have it that way. And on that note, I hope you had someone to call like I call you and if you did I apologize to those people as well. And there had to be more than one because you had to deal with three girls.
I would also like to do the same for my two or three friends that still make the attempt to call me still and probably dread it every time they do. I have phone ADD and I cut ppl off, I am aware of this and working on it. This blog is for you, now you can make the choice to hear my problems or not. Now that I have this I don't have to vent on the phone. I don't know what I will talk to you about now, but hey, now you can call me and talk yourself! And now I give an apology to you the ones who read this by choice. If I come across as having ADHD it's because I do (self diagnosed) or if it seems like you are reading the blog of a drunk ( I'm not), I've just spent the past two years talking to no one but a 6 and 2 year old. So I have a lot on my mind and I want to get it all out at once. PS, it might be hard to keep up because I have the grammar skills of a 1st grader, I've already worn out the spell check feature in these few paragraphs...
Being a mom has brought so many new things. good and bad. I've found out a lot about myself. And I want things that I have never wanted before. And to do things that I never thought I would. For instance, I would love to go to school just to take an English class, and I just wish I could read a thesaurus all the way through just to get my self back up to date on all the words that adults are using these days. Right now my vocabulary consists of words like, "no", "don't" "why?", and "really?!", that one gets used A LOT. On the upside of a shortened vocab, I've become a master of charades, like when my son pushes himself down or hits himself I know he's been hit or pushed, so when he pairs it with the word "Tater" I know that my daughter has pushed him down. Then I need to be on my toes because after that hes out for revenge. The top of my fridge looks like a toy box. It's a collection of everything he hits his sister with. The usual bats, toy brooms, kitchen utensils, and then there are the snow boots that he chose to use as boxing gloves. I used to think I wanted to be an actor growing up. Now I've come to the realization that the only gigs I should submit myself for are those on the Disney channel. I don't even know how to ACT like an adult anymore. I took part in two films this summer and the one I think I really excelled in was the one where I was wearing a silver tinsel wig and not talking. The other one, I felt I nailed the audition, but I was given another part, a mature working mom that dealt with and had regular conversations with adults. How could I even relate to that?! I bombed the part, and for this reason the name of this film won't be disclosed. I can only hope that my scenes were cut so the film can be enjoyed by others. So, since I don't see anymore acting in my near future, there is always the thought that I would be an amazing translator. Anyone would be that has a two year old that doesn't like to talk. But when he does....sigh. I am terrified when my husband requests chips. For that would mean I have to go down the chip isle. So I apologize if my child looks up at you with those big brown puppy eyes and he calls you the B word plain as day. He just wants a chip. I'm waiting for the day when we are checking out at the grocery store and he yells "CHIP!" at the check out person......It will happen soon enough and you will hear about it.
Another thing I have realized about myself is that I have broadened my genres in the book department. I used to only read historical fiction and non-fiction and mysteries. Now I cant get enough of anything where I can live vicariously through the characters. Thank you Twilight. And I just cant get enough of the philosophical works of Chelsea Handler, whose titles include Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea. She is a comedic genius who can always put a smile on my face with her stories.
So now I got that all off my chest I can continue on with today's adventures. Now, I've never been known as Smooth Sally, partly because I get to shave my legs maybe once a week, but because my days don't really go as planned. Taylor had stayed the night at Great Grandmas. It was nice not to wake up to screaming. But I knew It was the calm before the storm, so I told myself not even to try and get used to it. And I was right because the blissfulness ended approximately three minutes after she walked in the door. All hell broke loose. ( I say hell I mean screaming and hitting equivalent to WW III) if you talk to me I use that term a lot. But, as I said before, I had picked caffeine back up, so my high veiled some of the screaming. I though maybe if i put T in the shower to separate them things would quiet down again. Well, Taylor went in the bathroom in huff and locked herself in and since apparently ADD is genetic ,I have to be able to keep her in check or else she will be in there for a hour and not have anything accomplished. So anyways, I finally got her out twenty minutes later and since I was feeling good I thought I could take a shower too. Silly, silly me. Cold shower...thank you Taylor. Showers are my one sanctuary.....I came out and Bentley had decided to pour himself a bowl of cereal, and when I say bowl I mean a WHOLE box of cereal in a bowl and on the floor. Today is looking to be a pretty calm day around here.
I'm kind of hoping that a book deal can come out of this because I'm really in the mood to travel and my income from being a stay at home Mom will only pay for me to walk myself down to the park two blocks away..and spa treatments that include a two year old blow drying my hair. But, you know, I still wouldn't have it any other way. And I say that now because they are watching a movie nicely in the other room...
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