Yes, we are moving...just right down the road. It's not much of a big deal...except for the fact that we have moved every two years for the past six years...
This means two things. 1.) I qualify as a professional mover (NOT for hire). 2.) You may find two dirty sad children with their address and my phone number written on their arm with a permanent marker sitting on a street corner.
The reason for number two is this....I'm going to be cleaning full time. We aren't moving for a few weeks but June is pretty busy for us and I wanted a head start. And with my kids, well.....
I pride myself on already keeping a clean house but there are those things that you don't do regularly. So all morning I was going about the house armed with a toothbrush and a Magic Eraser (the only thing that would make them perfect would be if they were antibacterial). I got every nook and cranny, like the edges of the trim work and the corners mops don't get. And I mopped and it only took me an hour to half way clean the stove. But.....yes, there's always a but in my house. The one day this week I mop somebody decides to murder a cup of juice in the kitchen. The cabinets had just wiped down and the counters, and the floor were covered in splatters of sticky juice. And I wasn't told about this....I found it by slipping and nearly falling. Cool. And while I was scrubbing down the bathroom, with a toothbrush ( the person who buys this house is one Lucky Son of a Gun...this house is sparkling) my bed was being used as a bounce house, the same bed I artfully made this morning. Oh, and the dog has been vomiting on my carpet. And as I am worried about him....sigh, my carpet....
I feel like Goldie Hawn in Overboard (if you haven't seen it..it's wonderful).
All this being said the kids have gotten along AMAZINGLY today. I don't know why. I think it's the calm before the storm. But I'll take it.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
How can you tell your child is going through the "Terrible Twos" you ask....
Well. Let me tell you.
If you find Play Doh smashed into your carpet, and they are hanging on your leg crying......you definitely have a two year old.
If a clothes hanger is being used as a weapon in your home....you might have a two year old.
Or if the vacuum accessories are also being used as weapons......you just plain have kids.
If you hear the same word repeated over and over again, for example; tractor, tractor, tractor, tractor, tractor.....you might have a two year old.
(And I can say "I see it" or "Ya", I can say ANYTHING, but only when I say "tractor" back to him will he stop.) I'm just going to spend a moment on this subject because it happens every hour and its really fun when you are trying to navigate around town or on the phone.....
That was my MORNING.....how was yours?
Well. Let me tell you.
If you wake up to an open can of Mushroom Soup in your face.....you might have a two year old.
And after that, you find your fridge has been raided by racoons......nope, you just might have a two year old.
If instead of speaking the child just hangs on your leg FOR 5 MINUTES, crying over a Sports Illustrated magazine (that he never wanted until his sister was looking at it)......you might have a two year old.
If he just hangs on you leg crying...for no reason....you might have a 2 year old.
If you find Play Doh smashed into your carpet, and they are hanging on your leg crying......you definitely have a two year old.
If a clothes hanger is being used as a weapon in your home....you might have a two year old.
Or if the vacuum accessories are also being used as weapons......you just plain have kids.
If you hear the same word repeated over and over again, for example; tractor, tractor, tractor, tractor, tractor.....you might have a two year old.
(And I can say "I see it" or "Ya", I can say ANYTHING, but only when I say "tractor" back to him will he stop.) I'm just going to spend a moment on this subject because it happens every hour and its really fun when you are trying to navigate around town or on the phone.....
That was my MORNING.....how was yours?
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Update
I don't know what I did right in the world, but the remote and the Aqua Doodle Pen (that had been also missing for several months) AND my phone cover have all been recovered.
So I live in a college town. I enjoyed it much more when I was younger, now not as much. It makes me feel worse about looking so bad when I go to the grocery store. So, for mothers day Dan got me a tanning package. So while my friend is in Mexico (so rude, btw Kari) I am going to fake tan it. But I hate sitting in the waiting area next to all these college girls. I'm self conscience, and what do you talk about? I always hope the conversation never comes my way......"So what are you studying?" "Oh, I'm taking a class on how to keep my son from strait up eating sand.."
Yep, he lays in the sand box, like hes just soaking up me rays, and he'll look at me through the corner of his eye and roll over, and stick his tongue right into the sand. At first, I thought it as an accident... but you don't accidentally put your open mouth in the sand five time in a row. And as much as I try to get it out, I'll hear him chomping away on sand. He's definitely proving to be quite the comedian. He also has a new thing when I'm lunging (running my horse in circle in the pen) he will decide to slide a stick through the rails right in front of the horse...that one isn't so funny. I've always managed to pull her out of the way or yell at him, she's never hit it, yet. Her stops are looking pretty great now though. And she'll just pick right back up like shes expecting it, it's like no big deal. But I now believe some horses weren't born to be a kids horse, they where forced into it. At least he does it all with a huge smile on his face.
Yep, she said it.
My parenting strategy is Trial and Error. I have great days and I have "Princess Days".
So I live in a college town. I enjoyed it much more when I was younger, now not as much. It makes me feel worse about looking so bad when I go to the grocery store. So, for mothers day Dan got me a tanning package. So while my friend is in Mexico (so rude, btw Kari) I am going to fake tan it. But I hate sitting in the waiting area next to all these college girls. I'm self conscience, and what do you talk about? I always hope the conversation never comes my way......"So what are you studying?" "Oh, I'm taking a class on how to keep my son from strait up eating sand.."
Yep, he lays in the sand box, like hes just soaking up me rays, and he'll look at me through the corner of his eye and roll over, and stick his tongue right into the sand. At first, I thought it as an accident... but you don't accidentally put your open mouth in the sand five time in a row. And as much as I try to get it out, I'll hear him chomping away on sand. He's definitely proving to be quite the comedian. He also has a new thing when I'm lunging (running my horse in circle in the pen) he will decide to slide a stick through the rails right in front of the horse...that one isn't so funny. I've always managed to pull her out of the way or yell at him, she's never hit it, yet. Her stops are looking pretty great now though. And she'll just pick right back up like shes expecting it, it's like no big deal. But I now believe some horses weren't born to be a kids horse, they where forced into it. At least he does it all with a huge smile on his face.
Taylor was never that dangerous or difficult. She was saving the difficult up.......for NOW.
I've be going by the whole 'pick your battles' concept. Which means Taylor has been going to school looking like a mini Courtney Love without the drugs and the smeared mascara, and Taylor is well covered up. But you get my point. Yesterday she wore and very fancy Easter dress over some kind of long sleeve T, jeans and her dirty cowboy boots. But I did pick a battle the other day.....
Yep, she said it.
My parenting strategy is Trial and Error. I have great days and I have "Princess Days".
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Things I Have Learned Along The Road
You need to update your computers apparently every three years....I did not believe this until mine stopped working properly.
Sometimes after a year remotes can be found in place you have checked a million times. Yep, we found it in the bottom of the couch. Nope, cell phone cover is still missing.
It is rare I get to drink a whole cup of coffee warm.
Coffee no longer good after it has been heated up four times in the microwave.
Sometimes your son may want to wear a monkey tail to school. And yes, I let him.
You should NEVER give any inclination that you want to get anything done around your kids..they will pick up on that, and make it so it never happens.
I now look at cleaning as therapy. If I can even get that done..
Some say sleep is overrated...I will prove them wrong.
When one child is crying, it most necessary for the other child to break out in loud song or shout. I don't know why, but this happens EVERY TIME.
Sometimes I can't answer my phone because my son is yelling "Chip" at me...over and over again.
If you tell a girl, who is in KINDERGARTEN, that her fashion sense differs from yours, there will be huge argument.....which leads to being late to school.
Boys like to hit.
Girls like to argue
Boys like to bite.
Girls like to argue.
Boys like to yell and be dangerous.
Girls like to fight....and argue.
Don't try to paint while you have children in he house...I don't know what I was thinking.
A DVD may turn into chew toy.....for a child......
You can look to shabby for the gym.......resulting in me throwing away some clothing.
At least my kids get bathed everyday....someday they will realize how lucky the are.....when they are parents.
Sometimes after a year remotes can be found in place you have checked a million times. Yep, we found it in the bottom of the couch. Nope, cell phone cover is still missing.
It is rare I get to drink a whole cup of coffee warm.
Coffee no longer good after it has been heated up four times in the microwave.
Sometimes your son may want to wear a monkey tail to school. And yes, I let him.
You should NEVER give any inclination that you want to get anything done around your kids..they will pick up on that, and make it so it never happens.
I now look at cleaning as therapy. If I can even get that done..
Some say sleep is overrated...I will prove them wrong.
When one child is crying, it most necessary for the other child to break out in loud song or shout. I don't know why, but this happens EVERY TIME.
Sometimes I can't answer my phone because my son is yelling "Chip" at me...over and over again.
If you tell a girl, who is in KINDERGARTEN, that her fashion sense differs from yours, there will be huge argument.....which leads to being late to school.
Boys like to hit.
Girls like to argue
Boys like to bite.
Girls like to argue.
Boys like to yell and be dangerous.
Girls like to fight....and argue.
Don't try to paint while you have children in he house...I don't know what I was thinking.
A DVD may turn into chew toy.....for a child......
You can look to shabby for the gym.......resulting in me throwing away some clothing.
At least my kids get bathed everyday....someday they will realize how lucky the are.....when they are parents.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Rainy Days.....and Date Night?
I would just like to say I was posting to vent..but oddly enough my children have been behaving in such a way that I don't have much to write about this week. Hmm.....
I hate the rain. We are outdoor people and the bad weather is interfering way too much. I have never watched so many Disney movies and colored so many pictures in my life. And the hand to hand combat between the kids has picked up a bit, they are now both fitted with full body armour because I'm trying to just let them fight it out...bike helmets, life jackets, and knee pads. Today were are going to make pirate hats and a fort today. Wow. It's so sad I'm actually excited for it. What is it like to be an adult again?
So recently I dog sat for my brother and sister-in-law. I like their dog, so it was no trouble at all. But she decided to pay me with gift certificates to a restaurant and the movies. My husband was standing there when I opened the card, and when he caught a glimpse, he proclaimed, "Date Night!"
I had no clue what he was talking about.
I tried to conjure up something in my memory Rolodex. It sounded familiar but.....
"You mean those things we used to go on before we had two kids? By ourselves?" I was starting to remember. "No, don't be silly. We will just all go to a matinee showing of How To Train Your Dragon and then go to dinner. He raised his eyebrows. "Uh, no. We are having a date night."
This was almost two weeks ago..........
I hate the rain. We are outdoor people and the bad weather is interfering way too much. I have never watched so many Disney movies and colored so many pictures in my life. And the hand to hand combat between the kids has picked up a bit, they are now both fitted with full body armour because I'm trying to just let them fight it out...bike helmets, life jackets, and knee pads. Today were are going to make pirate hats and a fort today. Wow. It's so sad I'm actually excited for it. What is it like to be an adult again?
So recently I dog sat for my brother and sister-in-law. I like their dog, so it was no trouble at all. But she decided to pay me with gift certificates to a restaurant and the movies. My husband was standing there when I opened the card, and when he caught a glimpse, he proclaimed, "Date Night!"
I had no clue what he was talking about.
I tried to conjure up something in my memory Rolodex. It sounded familiar but.....
"You mean those things we used to go on before we had two kids? By ourselves?" I was starting to remember. "No, don't be silly. We will just all go to a matinee showing of How To Train Your Dragon and then go to dinner. He raised his eyebrows. "Uh, no. We are having a date night."
This was almost two weeks ago..........
Monday, April 26, 2010
The Lost and the STILL Missing
This morning I awoke to the smell of cinnamon rolls and bacon. I slid out of bed and made my way to the living room where I found both of the kids deep in thought with a chess match. My house was sparkling and as I passed the mirror, I noticed I was fully dressed an made up, hair and all. Then my refection said to me, " Hey Idiot. Your migraine is making you hallucinate. Snap out of it!"
Sigh..
The reality was my "good morning" came in the form of a pounding headache, which, I think, would qualify as a 6.5 on the Richter Scale. Even now at 10PM, I still wince and make that face, like you just smelled sour milk, EVERY TIME I move. So along with my actual headache, I have that everyday one from not being able to locate certain household items......
MISSING
Surround Sound Remote Last seen: Early 2009
And more recently...
New gel phone cover Last seen: oh, I don't know, a week and a half ago?
Suspects:
A mischievous 2 yr old and a 16 (I mean 6 yr old who thinks she's 16. When asked about the missing items and if she had anything to do with it she replied " UMMM, NOAH" I have on numerous occasions tried to explain to her the word is pronounced simply "no". With no avail and unless she is making a Barbie bomb, I'm pretty sure she's clear. )
I have checked the usual hiding places where missing things often turn up. The widow sill at the front of the house, the pirate tent, the closet. And EVERYWHERE ELSE!! The inside of shoes, my garage, three toy boxes, the yard, book shelves, and the couches. And I sill can't find either! I have given up on the remote as of late last year. I'm 90% sure it's buried in the sand box. But my phone cover is new...and I just want it back.
Also, I have myself lost my memory since being a mother. " I can't find my shoes!" Oh yes, they are by the door where I put them 5 seconds ago "I can't find my keys" Oh yes, they are on the table, again, where I put them 5 seconds ago. I wish I had a beeper on my keys...but I would loose that too. The losing of the keys happens multiple times n a daily basis. And the worst situation has been....." Where's Bent....."and before I got the last syllable out of my mouth, my own child's name.....I realize I'm holding him. Unfortunately, this incident took place in front of others. Thankfully it was one of my best friends and her family, anyone else would have thought me crazy, and un-thankfully because they still won't let me live it down. It's even a greeting as I come in the door with the kids, "Hey where's Bentley?" Haha.
So along with the items I would like to find; cell phone service in my own home and the reason why only half of the keys on my keyboard work the first time.
Sigh..
The reality was my "good morning" came in the form of a pounding headache, which, I think, would qualify as a 6.5 on the Richter Scale. Even now at 10PM, I still wince and make that face, like you just smelled sour milk, EVERY TIME I move. So along with my actual headache, I have that everyday one from not being able to locate certain household items......
MISSING
Surround Sound Remote Last seen: Early 2009
And more recently...
New gel phone cover Last seen: oh, I don't know, a week and a half ago?
Suspects:
A mischievous 2 yr old and a 16 (I mean 6 yr old who thinks she's 16. When asked about the missing items and if she had anything to do with it she replied " UMMM, NOAH" I have on numerous occasions tried to explain to her the word is pronounced simply "no". With no avail and unless she is making a Barbie bomb, I'm pretty sure she's clear. )
I have checked the usual hiding places where missing things often turn up. The widow sill at the front of the house, the pirate tent, the closet. And EVERYWHERE ELSE!! The inside of shoes, my garage, three toy boxes, the yard, book shelves, and the couches. And I sill can't find either! I have given up on the remote as of late last year. I'm 90% sure it's buried in the sand box. But my phone cover is new...and I just want it back.
Also, I have myself lost my memory since being a mother. " I can't find my shoes!" Oh yes, they are by the door where I put them 5 seconds ago "I can't find my keys" Oh yes, they are on the table, again, where I put them 5 seconds ago. I wish I had a beeper on my keys...but I would loose that too. The losing of the keys happens multiple times n a daily basis. And the worst situation has been....." Where's Bent....."and before I got the last syllable out of my mouth, my own child's name.....I realize I'm holding him. Unfortunately, this incident took place in front of others. Thankfully it was one of my best friends and her family, anyone else would have thought me crazy, and un-thankfully because they still won't let me live it down. It's even a greeting as I come in the door with the kids, "Hey where's Bentley?" Haha.
So along with the items I would like to find; cell phone service in my own home and the reason why only half of the keys on my keyboard work the first time.
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